I ALWAYS GO to the High Tech Career Expo, held every quarter in the Seattle Center Exhibition Hall.
Even though I don’t have three years’ experience in programming technologies that just came out last year (the chief requirement at most of the employers’ booths), I still go through the motions. I pass out resumes. I talk tech jargon with the recruiters (mostly made-up on my part, and for all I know also made-up on their part).
And I collect the free candy, toys, and literature from many of the booths.
Examples of hype-talk and tech-mumblespeak in the companies’ literature:
- “Through teamwork, we will consistently provide services and business practices that meet and exceed both internal and external customer expectations.”
- “We share an uncommon blend of spirit, resourcefulness, caring, professionalism, and integrity.”
- “AETEA Information Technology Inc. helps its clients effectively compete in their marketplace by providing high-quality value-added Information Technology consulting services.”
- “CBSI is a global provider of business and technology solutions with a vigorous fifteen-year histor of growth, commitment, customer loyalty, and successful system implementations.”
- “CIBER is the trusted technology leader transforming businesses to be agile, scalable and connected in this ever-changing marketplace.”
- “At Fluke Networks, our mission is to imagine and deliver kick-butt products that delight our customers–those visionaries tasked with designing, installing, and maintaining the communications networks of tomorrow–and have fun doing it.”
- “Quintessent Communications Inc. brings to market a world-class solution that prescribes the future of how the telecommunications industry performs back-office electronic commerce to tightly bind carrier networks and extend their virtual enterprise boundaries.”
- “Rational Software Corporation (NASDAQ: RATL), the e-development company, helps organizations develop and deploy software for e-business, e-infrastructure, and e-deviced through a combination of tools, services, and software engineering best practices.”
- “The leading enterprise-class application storage management software provider.”
- “Creative, collaborative, focused–Acadio’s culture is key to our growing success. People who thrive here are smart and self-diected. They know how to get things done and keep the ‘big picture in mind’ at the same time. They’re ready, willing, and extremely able to roll up their sleeves and help bring a great new idea to life–together.”
Examples of the toys:
- Frisbees and Frisbee-like discs, made of hard plastic, sponge-plastic, and canvas.
- Nerf airplanes, footballs, globes, computers, cell phones, and cars.
- Fridge-poetry magnet sets.
- Plastic yo-yos, spinning tops, and self-balancing eggs.
Get in on the fun yourself. Get to the next High Tech Career Expo, Nov. 7-8 at the Meydenbauer Center in Bellevue.
Who knows–if dot-com turmoil continues, there might not be as many of these, of this size, by this time next year.
TOMORROW: Memories of punk clubs past.
IN OTHER NEWS: The 2000 Mariners had their streaks and slumps but never gave up. In the end, they came up two Arthur Rhodes-pitched relief innings away from winning their first pennant and bringing joy to Yankee-haters everywhere.
This near-triumph could be intrepreted as a justification for the New Look Ms–a team built on coaching, strategy, and teamwork rather than a couple of superstars.
Or, it could be compared to the “new economy,” including a lot of Washington-based companies, initially riding high but eventually stumbling this year against the real-world domination of the Wall Streeters and their global conglomerates.
Or, it could just be another case of a “small market” team whupped by the big guys with the big regional-TV revenues.
In any event, it was a lot of fun. Let’s do it again soon.
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