AS PREVIOUSLY WRITTEN HERE, I used to hate Valentine’s Day.
Now, I llluuuuuvvv it.
And it’s not just because (at least as of the time of this writing) I’m in head-over-heels infatuation with someone bright and down-to-earth (which I am).
It’s because I’m now convinced that human connection, in all its forms (including sex and romance) is one of the keys to moving human society beyond its current power-and-money obsessions and toward something healthier and more stable.
Things I’ve learned during the process:
- Loneliness sucks.
- Self-righteous loneliness sucks worse.
- Being told to “like” being alone, as a supposed alternative to loneliness, sucks worse yet.
- Knowing is not enough, to re-quote the closing epigram in Hal Hartley’s made-for-PBS movie Surviving Desire.
- If you haven’t a sweetiepoo of your own, don’t sweat it. Be your own lover.
By that I don’t mean masturbation, and I don’t mean obsessive self-absorption, and I don’t mean that “be your own best friend” self-help junk. I just mean treat yourself the way you’d like a lover to treat you, with honest respect and kind appreciation.
And since it’s the lovers’ day, give yourself a present. Maybe a handsome little decorative tchotchke; maybe some dark chocolate and raspberry truffles; maybe even a day-spa massage or a couch dance if that’s what moves ya.
- And as a lover (at least of yourself), you can and should now spread that love to the world around you–friends, co-workers, the neighborhood, etc.
Again, this doesn’t refer to salacious solicitations; (i.e., don’t sue me if you come on rudely to some stranger in a bar and responds with a punch in the nose. Indeed, that kind of unsubtlety is the mark of a selfish wolf, not of a lover.
No, I mean spreading as much of all the kinds of love (familias, agape, eros, etc.) in the appropriate form to the appropriate recipients. This is hard for many of us repressed-Calvinist northern Caucasians; damn hard for some. But it’s worth it.
So lots of huggs, kisses, and/or kind words to you and yours, this little-over-midway point between solstice and equinox, when the world is just starting to come back to life.
NEXT: Re-editing Star Wars was one thing, but re-editing Red Dwarf is a potential abomination!
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