…the P-I ran a long feature story on how you can preserve your newspapers for future reading and reminiscing (as if anyone really wants to remember that day). We could repeat some of those hints here, so you can keep your copies of the print edition of MISC printer-fresh, but we really don’t want to.

Here at MISC, you see, we consider the half-life of newsprint to be a vital aspect of your Total Ownership Experience, right along with the friendly ink smudges on your fingers. This publication WILL fade, yellow, and get brittle. Put it away for a while after you’ve enjoyed its contents, then retrieve it from storage weeks later. See how its natural ripening process has begun. Eventually, your MISC wil become a wrinkled but memory-filled old relic. Just like you.