It’s been a wacky couple of weeks around here. It’s going to be a couple more wacky weeks. So let’s all just relax and enjoy some patented, guaranteed-to-work Harry Stonecipher pickup lines:

• “Would you like to tour my cockpit?”
• “I’ve laid thousands. No, wait, that’s not it. I’ve laid off thousands.”
• “In the unlikely event of a water landing, your bust can be used as a flotation device.”
• “I’ve just lost a huge Air Force tanker contract. I really need some consolation.”
• “I want to screw you the way I screwed the Machinists’ Union.”
• “You can have all the peanuts and little liquor bottles you want.”
• “I’m certified to navigate without instruments.”
• “Sorry, but I can’t let you into my apartment without a full body search.”
• “I can cross the Pacific without refueling, if you know what I mean.”
• “You’re better stacked than the landing pattern at O’Hare.”
• “Headsets are $5. Head’s free.”
• “Wait ’til you see the size of my hangar!”