The Don’t Worry, He Won’t Get Far On Foot! cartoonist, songwriter, quadriplegic, ex-binge drinker, “enthusiast of the female form,” possessor of America’s sharpest, sickest sense of humor, and single coolest (or only cool) thing in the Seattle Times, has died at age 59, essentially from complications of his paralysis.

You can read elsewhere about Callahan’s incredible life story. It’s a saga of child sexual abuse, alcoholism, getting paralyzed for life at 21 (in a car driven by a pal who was also drinking), even deeper alcoholism, turning his life around, becoming a cult hero, getting syndicated from here to eternity, creating two animated TV series (one on Nickelodeon!), and making the world a safer place for realistic sick gags.

As you might expect from the above description, some people once tried to make a Hollywood movie about him. It’s still unmade. Even if it is, it couldn’t possibly be as fascinating as the real Callahan, or a tenth as funny.