In the early 1990s, “grownup toy” and gift shops sold a faux-Chia novelty product called “Barbara’s Bush.” Above, a less genteel product for a more X-treme time.

John Edwards vows, if elected, to crack down on those annoying prescription drug commercials.

YouTube’s finally gonna have ads on its video pages. But they’ll only be on professionally-produced content by “partner” companies. The ol’ user-submitted videos apparently aren’t slick enough, or attract the right precision demographics, for sponsors to care about.

…Seafair parade, here’s an official Seafair Pirates eye patch. It’s sponsored by AT&T Wireless, made of space-age rubberized plastic, and made in China.

…serve up a heapin’ helpin’ of “racist spokescharacters,” from Aunt Jemima to the Frito Bandito. (What, no Darkie toothpaste?)

An Oregon State U. study shows that anti-smoking ads may actually encourage teens to smoke. As if that wasn’t the less-than-completely-hidden aim of the tobacco-company-sponsored “anti-tobacco” ads to begin with. You know: The ones that show smokers as gross-out outcasts (as in cool), and non-smokers as nice clean-cut jocks and cheerleaders (as in dweebs).

…tried to appeaal to the sleaze-talk radio audience with a promotional tie-in to Sean Hannity, it’s now trying to appease progressives. A new TV commercial tries to extend Chevy’s “all-American” brand image by featuring images of Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King, Nixon’s resignation, 9/11, and Katrina; all done to an original jingle performed by John Mellencamp (who, when he was more popular, publicly scoffed at oldies-rock stars selling their songs for commercials).

…from a company that’s been brimming with dumb ideas of late: “GM Hires Fox News Mouthpiece Sean Hannity As Spokesman.”

CBS has signed up for promotional announcements on perishable food products.

Meanwhile, CBS’s former parent co. Viacom is allegedly in talks to buy The Onion, the satirical newspaper and Web site originally co-founded by some of the original Stranger crew.

And Seattle mayor Greg Nickels, sounding more like his onetime election opponent Mark Sidran every week, told a Seattle Channel talk-show caller that he believed strip club owners were linked to “organized crime.” He specifically cited Rick’s/Sugar’s owners Frank Colacurcio Sr. and Jr., they of the conveniently-stereotypable Italian-American surname. The Colacurcios may be sly businessmen who exploit every advantage and try to create others; but so’s Paul Allen.

…and the only devil I saw was a certain ex-boss of mine, who showed up for the weekly session of Drinking Liberally. Mr. Savage sported a custom tee with the slogan CAN’T WE HAVE CRAIG KILLED?, in reference to the founder of a certain free-want-ads web site that’s put a wrench into print-media busines models across the country.

It’s been a decade and a half since Mr. Savage and co. were the new kids on the local-media block, with a surefire business plan that took ’em to the top. Now, newer outfits with newer surefire business plans are causing both “mainstream” and “alternative” newsprint publishers to run scared. Ah, the more things, well, you know…

…today to Vernon L. Fonk, 75. The former ambulance driver and cigarette-company wholesale rep started the Vern Fonk Insurance agency in 1964; it now has 14 offices in two states, specializing in “special risk” auto policies.

Please note: The guy who plays Vern Fonk in the agency’s delightfully wacky TV commercials is still, thankfully, with us.

…but I love old toy commercials better.

A British real-estate development firm is offering newly-built, tiny, one-bedroom condos (known there as “flats”), under the trademark “iPads.”

…the latest (sporty, streamlined, high-mileage) Oscar Meyer Wienermobile showed up, along with a video crew. Young attendees of the Center’s Children’s Festival were invited to have themselves taped extolling their love of packaged meat products in song.

And now there are Spanish-language lyrics to the “Wiener Song.” Let’s all sing along, shall we?

The above is from an ad circular in the Seattle Times, 4-9-06.