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THE MAILBAG
Jun 15th, 2005 by Clark Humphrey

(via Arthur Marriott):

“Seems there’s an issue with Southwest Airlines moving to Boeing Field that hasn’t yet entered the public discussion thereof. (Of course, there wasn’t any public discussion of this until Tuesday, was there?)

The final approach to Boeing Field goes right over the top of Magnolia. I grew up there, and was in the sixth grade when Sea-Tac was undergoing one of its previous makeovers, and the major carriers had to use Boeing Field temporarily. Granted, this was in the age of noisier “first-generation” jets, but the noise was to say the least obnoxious.

I rather doubt that it would be easy to ameliorate the problem by coming in at higher altitudes either, because the Boeing approach actually passes UNDERNEATH the Sea-Tac approach lanes over Elliott Bay and the southern part of downtown.”

That just might scuttle the whole thang, ya know. If Seattle politics is anything, it’s politics by demographic marketing. We can ask Georgetown and Beacon Hill to put up with anything, but to inconvenience the stately homes of Magnolia and their upper-income denizens? Never!

SOME WAG WONDERS…
May 12th, 2005 by Clark Humphrey

…what would happen if Boeing got really serious about outsourcing. (What’s even funnier is that the Google Ad-bot sticks pro-outsourcing ad links on this anti-outsourcing page.)

MILE-HIGH-CLUB DEPT.
Mar 17th, 2005 by Clark Humphrey

It’s been a wacky couple of weeks around here. It’s going to be a couple more wacky weeks. So let’s all just relax and enjoy some patented, guaranteed-to-work Harry Stonecipher pickup lines:

  • “Would you like to tour my cockpit?”
  • “I’ve laid thousands. No, wait, that’s not it. I’ve laid off thousands.”
  • “In the unlikely event of a water landing, your bust can be used as a flotation device.”
  • “I’ve just lost a huge Air Force tanker contract. I really need some consolation.”
  • “I want to screw you the way I screwed the Machinists’ Union.”
  • “You can have all the peanuts and little liquor bottles you want.”
  • “I’m certified to navigate without instruments.”
  • “Sorry, but I can’t let you into my apartment without a full body search.”
  • “I can cross the Pacific without refueling, if you know what I mean.”
  • “You’re better stacked than the landing pattern at O’Hare.”
  • “Headsets are $5. Head’s free.”
  • “Wait ’til you see the size of my hangar!”
HARRY STONECIPHER'S "PARAMOUR,"…
Mar 11th, 2005 by Clark Humphrey

…to use a quaint phrase quipped in the Seattle Times, even made the pages of Rupert Murdoch’s UK tabloid The Sun, despite the lack of any readily available photographs of her appearing in that paper’s preferred manner.

GOOD NEWS FOR SEATTLITES
Mar 7th, 2005 by Clark Humphrey

Harry Stonecipher, who’s helped Boeing become an also-ran in its own industry, has resigned in disgrace after the 70-year-old CEO got caught in a sex scandal. Maybe now we can get somebody who’ll set the company right, somebody who won’t confuse the stock price with the bottom line. If this new person drops the luxury of that Chicago head office and moves it back to Seattle, all the better.

THE MAILBAG
May 3rd, 2004 by Clark Humphrey

(via Arthur Marriott):

“Your mention on the ‘Misc’ page of Boeing and the 7E7 reminded me of two things that occurred to me when I read the piece about the first 7E7 order last week in the Times.The first was that there was a photograph of and quote from one Ellen Piasecki, who’s some sort of marketing VP at Boeing. I’ll bet there’s a whole story there.

Piasecki Aircraft was the original name of the East Coast company that eventually became the core of Boeing’s helicopter division. Their specialty was always big heavy-lift ‘copters with two main rotors instead of a ‘tail boom’–their Korean-War ‘flying banana’ was the precursor to the present-day Chinook. What would you bet that she was born into that family, with aviation in her blood, and that eventually led to what she’s doing now?

The other thing I perceived was more ominous. The rendering of the 7E7 in All Nippon Airways colors accompanying the article showed only one person in the cockpit.

Over the last several decades, we’ve seen the flight crew of large airliners reduced from three to two as the flight engineer was automated the way of the railroad fireman. The effect of this on safety has been open to question, as evidenced by reading John Nance’s first major book–when things break, it helps to have more brain power at work and more hands to manipulate whatever controls are still working.

However, economic forces and corporate and technological arrogance may be leading to the day when it’s assumed that the aircraft can flawlessly run itself, and having a token ‘attendant’ sitting up front will be a transition to putting hundreds of passengers in a pilotless aircraft. At that point, I don’t think I’ll be flying anymore.”

COMING DOWN TO EARTH
Apr 30th, 2004 by Clark Humphrey

As the local media cheerlead over the official start of Boeing 7E7 production, the current-affairs zine The Next American City has a long, lucid essay about “Seattle’s Boeing Fixation.”

Writer Sarah Kavage cites the 7E7 assembly-plant location derby as a classic example of corporate job blackmail, a now-familiar ritual that encourages communities to give companies too much to get too little back. (In the case of Seattle/Everett, it’s a mere 1,000 final assembly jobs.) Kavage suggests cities and states find the courage to back away from the game:

“Ultimately, the Puget Sound region will likely have to wean itself off of Boeing, whether it wants to or not. Even if the company stays in town, the region’s influence over it, for better or for worse, will continue to diminish….”Nationwide, our leaders must better manage the difficult balance between long-term regional needs and the needs of large employers. Doing so requires more than passing regulations and bribing companies with incentives. It means actively investing in the infrastructure, environmental protection, education, and social services that keep the quality of life high. And it means investing in local business development and potentially forging agreements with other states and countries to limit the size and nature of incentives.”

SOME OF MY freelance writing gigs…
Jan 22nd, 2004 by Clark Humphrey

…feel a lot as if I was a townsperson in It’s A Good Life, the Jerome Bixby story made famous in a Twilight Zone episode starring future comic-book writer and Barnes & Barnes novelty singer Bill Mumy.

Our whole society (local, national, global) is being ruined by the collective equivalent to that story’s boy villain–a pre-adolescent mindset of greed and vengeance. Not only must we obey fully, we must obey cheerfully. We must always think good thoughts, even as everything we love is torn asunder. In “lifestyle” journalism, that means the writer must, MUST, MUST absolutely, gushingly adore whatever the upscale demographic target market’s expected to like. Huge ugly vehicles? Snooty restaurants? Fantastic! Development schemes devised to give the waterfront to Paul Allen? Gotta love ’em! Gutting health-care and education funding to support subsidies to Boeing and Amgen? It was good that the politicians did that!

IN THE CENTENNIAL WEEK of the Wright Bros.' first flight,…
Dec 17th, 2003 by Clark Humphrey

…Boeing (or what’s left of it) announced its passenger plane biz (or what’s left of it) will stay here after all, at least the final-assembly part.

It’s a good first step toward the agenda previously recommended in this space, of reaffirming Boeing’s heritage as a domestic manufacturing company with roots in a real place (this place); eschewing American business’s self-destructive obsessions with financial falderal and the Almighty Stock Price.

More, though, is still needed.

DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD DEPT.
Dec 1st, 2003 by Clark Humphrey

It’s a couple years too late, but Boeing CEO Phil Condit has resigned.

Under Condit, the once proud commercial aircraft giant lost its global leadership role in the passenger plane biz to Airbus, and became more heavily dependent on military contracts for its survival.

Condit decided he didn’t like to use his own products, so he set himself and his executive support staff up in a new Chicago head office; a move that also gave him the chance to tell Seattle to drop dead.

Condit turned a company known for its engineering and manufacturing leadership into just another stock-market listing that happened to own some factories. He gave away Boeing’s technological crown jewel, its wing technologies, to Japan.

He turned the new 7E7 program into a job-blackmail scheme, demanding ever bigger subsidies from local governments for the opportunity to host what will be a bare bones, robot-manned assembly plant.

And finally there was this little ethics scandal, with some of Condit’s underlings caught bribing fed officals over a tanker-plane deal.

Granted, the past two and a half years have been a perfect storm for the plane biz. Any Boeing CEO would’ve found trouble. But this particular one handled almost every crisis the wrong way, and created some needless crises of his own.

Boeing’s still an industrial giant and a huge factor in the local and national economies. The next CEO can get the firm back on track.

Step one: Move back to Seattle. Be a manufacturer again.

TAILSPIN
Nov 14th, 2003 by Clark Humphrey

book coverBoeing’s steady decline as a world-class manufacturing enterprise (let alone as a Wash. state employer) continues with the announcement that the new 7E7 jet’s wing assemblies will be subcontracted to Japanese companies.

Michael Chrichton’s otherwise pathetic mid-’90s thriller novel Airframe, set at a fictionalized Lockheed, has a big subplot predicting this, and denouncing the export of the US aerospace biz’s most important proprietary technology.

I’d denounce it too, if I thought denouncing it’d accomplish anything. Today’s Boeing, though, seems to care about nothing but its own short-term stock price.

PROFITS & LAYOFFS
Jun 19th, 2003 by Clark Humphrey

HERE’S HOW Fark summarized this KOMO-TV report about Boeing’s latest job-blackmail shenanigans: “Washington State approves $3 billion tax cut for Boeing. Boeing responds by laying off more workers.”

Need more be said?

Actually, at least a little more.

The company that, as much as any, made modern global business possible insists upon re-imaging itself as a global-age enterprise, no matter how costly or inefficient the move may turn out to be. Management is out to permanently eliminate as much of the old Boeing culture of middle-class American working-stiff stability as possible. The 7E7 assembly line, for which Washington’s politicians would sell all our souls, would only employ as few as 800 people. Big components and subassemblies, even the all-important wing work, will be parceled out to subcontractors, non-union states, sweatshop countries, and nations whose government-owned airlines might consider buying a couple of the finished planes.

There comes a point when a state’s just gotta say it won’t play the coddle-the-CEO game over such low payoffs. Let’s hope in this state it’s soon.

THE DAYS are getting…
Jan 30th, 2003 by Clark Humphrey

…ever-so-slightly longer, but it still feels like early winter around here, socio-psychologically. Everywhere you look around these parts, there’s bad news.

Chubby & Tubby finally closes this week.

Fallout Records, the feisty indie music and zine store that supported the print MISC since its relaunch three years ago, is shutting down next month.

The Paradox Theater, which mounted underage rock gigs for the past three and a half years (at the old University Theater, where yr. web editor once promoted some silly little B-movie matinees), is shutting down this weekend; though its operators promise to promote all-ages shows at other sites.

The gorgeous streamlined ferry boat Kalakala is in danger of being sold out-of-state without a quick massive arrival of restoration funds.

Dozens more of Seattle’s most talented creative people are splitting town, including two of the print MISC’s most valued past contributors.

Boeing, now essentially a branch-plant operation of McDonnell-Douglas, continues to churn out massive layoffs while starting up a job-blackmail scheme in which its three or four production cities will surely be asked to pay subsidies for the right to have the company’s next passenger-plane assembly operation.

Even mind-numbing shit jobs are being lost in vast numbers across the local economy. Nearly 2,000 telemarketers have been canned in Washington, as various companies consolidate their “call centers” into low-wage states (or countries). And word has it that computer programming, seen only eight years ago as THE profession of the century, risks becoming a dead-end career, as big corporations ship whole information-tech departments off to India and Singapore.

The politicians around here are playing a game of one-downsmanship, each striving to combine the most brutal cuts against programs to aid the poor with the most pious public apologies for same.

Personally, I’ve gone from underemployed to unemployed. I only get sleep one night out of every three (no I don’t know why). I’ve felt like giving up the daily grind of submitting resumes to everybody in town, for jobs I don’t even want. But I don’t know what to give it up for.

And, of course, the national political/economic situation is as sorry as it’s been since at least the early Watergate era.

Maybe the Erotic Art Festival tomorrow at Town Hall can bring at least a little bit of life/hope back to the memescape.

THE AGE OF UNIFORMS
Apr 1st, 2002 by Clark Humphrey

The Age of Uniforms

from the Winter 2002 print MISC
by Matt Briggs

MOM FIRST WORKED for Boeing in the late ’60s, in a long building with dirty windows overlooking the Duwamish River. She worked as a production illustrator, producing diagrams and signs. She didn’t keep the job for long, but she said this was her favorite job.

She wore blue jeans and black boots and an oxford shirt, or sometimes she wore a dark blue skirt and a sweater. Graphite always filled the space under her fingernails.

Always a boom and bust town, Seattle busted in the beginning of the ’70s. Boeing’s layoffs resulted in a company town without much of a company left. Mom found work waiting tables and wearing other people’s clothes. Washington State law stated at the time that if your employer required you to wear clothing of a particular color or style, he or she had to provide it.

SCOTTY WATTS OWNED the Copper Kitchen Restaurant, where Mom first met my father while she waited on tables. Scotty also owned the Peppermill and the Dutch Oven. Scotty Watts’s waitresses wore mustard colored dresses and mustard colored hats that looked like mushrooms. Because the top-heavy hats fell into people’s soup, none of the waitresses wore them.

“We girls rolled up our dresses because they came down over our knees,” Mom said. “The waist had an elastic strip and we folded the dresses and tucked them in and tied the apron string to keep everything up. The style then was to wear your skirt cut just below your crotch.”

After she married my father, Scotty moved Mom to the Peppermill. She wore the same uniform. Mom said the shoes were the most important article of clothing with a waitress uniform. She bought nurse shoes that only came in white and she shoe polished them brown to match her uniform. The heavy rubber soles looked like gigantic translucent erasers.

In the spring of that year, when Mom became pregnant, my father insisted that they get married. He had already been in enough trouble that they’d suspended his driver’s license; but he still drove his dented blue Buick. He’d sworn off alcohol. In the months she’d known him, my father seemed sober and even a little nerdy and not at all like a drunk. Mom said, “You don’t know about someone’s history until it becomes your own past.” That summer, she miscarried and spent three days in the University of Washington Medical Center.

In the beginning of September, Mom began work at the Alpine Cafeteria. The waitresses left the brown dresses with muttonchop sleeves at the restaurant. They wore white aprons and wedgies. They were supposed to wear hair nets. The hair nets would slip off into people’s food, so they took them off and kept their hair in ponytails, which fit the theme of the restaurant anyway.

Labor Day fell on her second or third day and, because she was new, she didn’t know to worry when the other waitresses didn’t come in. Few restaurants were open, so crowds of people sat in the restaurant. The food kept on coming. Mom didn’t know where the plates were supposed to go, so order after order piled up on the hot counter. Angry customers pointed out their food.

The busboy was a 35-year-old mute. He’d lost his voice from screaming in Alaska. He’d been in two airplane crashes working the salmon. The older waitresses treated him like shit. He wore blue jeans and a T-shirt. Mom and he formed a little team because she would give him tips and treat him well and so he’d bus her tables quickly; so she had a better turn-around on her tables and was able to make more money per table than the older waitress.

Many of the waitresses at the Alpine Cafeteria had worked there for years. Each had her own regular customers. They were stunted, hard women with gray legs and dyed black hair and faces like stale doughnuts. They took their time and nothing stopped them or sped them up. “It was a horrible job. I only lasted for four months there.”

Two weeks after she started at the Alpine Cafeteria, Scotty came and said my father was in the King County Jail. He’d been pulled over and put in jail because of his suspended license.

Finally, she went back to the Peppermill. The cooks wore black and white checkered slacks and double-breasted blouses. Scotty didn’t allow the waitresses to take their uniforms home. She worked there until she was pregnant with me.

After a couple of months off, she went to work at the Denny’s on Aurora Avenue North and worked there until she was pregnant with my brother. She had to buy an orange and brown uniform and had to wear it to work and home because there wasn’t any place to change. They wanted to upgrade the image of waitresses, to make them more like stewardesses. They wore very heavy A-line dresses (costing $12 to $15) and black turtlenecks. She didn’t like to wear the dress home on the bus, because the brown fabric smelled like the kitchen and the food and cigarette smoke.

She worked there until she was five months pregnant. She made her own dress using matching fabric because their dresses wouldn’t accommodate a pregnant figure. Finally the manager fired Mom for her pregnancy. “You can’t even wear the uniform,” he said. “My customers are complaining that you are working too hard for a pregnant woman.”

She didn’t work for nine months or so. In that time, she had my brother and the family moved to Fall City in the Snoqualmie Valley.

At the Gateway Cafe in North Bend, a roadhouse on Sunset Highway and then the original interstate, Mom wore a black skirt and white shirt. They supplied the apron. She kept a pot of coffee in one hand and a plate of the special in the other.

The lumberjacks wore corkboots and blue jeans cut just above the boots. Red suspenders held up their loose pants. They came in directly from the logging camp where they weren’t allowed to drink. They came in covered in mud and sawdust.

“Just like an old time saloon, at first they would accidentally brush up against your breasts or you’d feel a cold hand on the back of your thigh; and as the night wore on, they moved into the Moriritz Room where they’d all try to grab you and you’d have to dance and squirm past them.”

Only women bartenders worked at the Gateway. They called the owner, Edna, “The One Armed Bandit.” She lost the arm in a washing machine as a little girl. It was one of those old-fashioned ones with belts. She was a very good-looking woman. She ran the place like a drill sergeant. She encouraged the girls to make the men happy. Her husband was named Bear and he kept to the back room doing accounting. In the summer, the girls wore halter tops and brief shorts. At the end of the night, they served the lumberjacks breakfast and coffee.

At the Summit House at Snoqualmie Pass, an ancient structure of raw logs with plywood and drywall and insulation tacked to the interior, Mom wore black skirts and a white blouse and red paisley vests with pockets. The homeless bartender slept in the storeroom. He let a cigarette go and it burned the place down. With no running water at the Pass, there wasn’t enough water to put out the fire.

The next place, Ken’s Truck Town, required her to wear a white polyester nurse-style uniform. They supplied these; but the waitresses had to change into them in the break room. Mom caught pneumonia from the walk-in freezer and was sick for a long time. The customers started to complain. Her boss told her, “Tomorrow you come back well.” She went to the doctor, took penicillin, and started to look for another job.

“I had interviewed with Scott Adams before. I went down looking for a job. I remembered the interview from before being really long and like he was grilling a potential chief financial officer of a bank. I told him I could wait a rush with 250 customers on the floor, and I was looking for a job. He told me I must be a real crackerjack waitress. He hired me right on the spot.”

He owned the Denny’s on 4th Avenue South, in the franchise’s original diamond-shaped building. Mom had to buy another single piece orange and brown uniform with black stockings and dark shoes, the same uniform she hadn’t been able to wear four years before.

He eventually fired her for being too volatile. Mom says it was because she was getting a ride to work sometimes from Harold Johnson, a black guy. Everyone thought she was sleeping with him. Specifically, Scott Adams fired her because she refused to take a personal check. Mom obeyed the policy that Denny’s would not accept personal checks. A guy came in and Mom didn’t accept his check even though he was a regular. She was fired a couple of days later.

When she went back to pick up her last paycheck from Scott Adams, he hunched down to ask me how I was holding up. I asked him, “Why did you fire my mom?” He wore a blue suit and kept his two individual clumps of hair on either side of his head neatly stacked and the clean bald expanse of skin between them oiled like a highly polished linoleum floor. He had an expansive black mustache and slightly damp, red lips. He held my arms and started to cry. “Tiger, your Mom will always have a job here.”

“It became clear to me I would be one of those old nasty Seattle waitresses. Clear to me I wouldn’t be able to stay married to your father. The job I had that made me the happiest was when I had been a production assistant at Boeing.”

MOM WORE POLYESTER slacks and shirts when she went to Bellevue Community College to study drafting. After her second year at BCC, she found a job at the Ambrose Co. at an Overlake office park. She wore slacks and shirts.

Ambrose created a line of machines designed to fill paint containers. Mom did manual drafting on boards. Mom produced complicated blueprints for the company; her mechanical drafting block letters filled the margins. In the front office, the company paid for the women’s hair to be done. “They were dressed to the nines,” Mom said. “But I was in the back office and just kept my hair short.”

The summer she finished college she bought two suits, a wool herringbone jacket and skirt and a gabardine jacket and skirt. Before she left my father and moved to Renton, she walked hurriedly through the house wearing thin high heels and her work uniform. On the soft wood floors she left a trail of heel impressions like someone pressing the tip of a pencil into a sheet of clay.

SHE FOUND A JOB right away at Boeing where she became a tech-aid, a drafter, on the 737-200. When she came home late after driving along the stop and go traffic on 405 and then the long drive from Eastlake to North Bend on I-90, she still wore her Boeing Security badge over one pocket. When someone got a job at Boeing, they always said, “I got on at Boeing’s.”

Every fourth person in the area had a job making airplanes. The other seventy-five percent of the population called Boeing “the Lazy B;” when they asked someone to explain their job there, they couldn’t make sense of the explanation.

For seven years, Mom wore professional clothes. In 1987, casual Fridays started. “On Friday you wore whatever you wanted to wear,” Mom said. “The guys wore polo shirts and jeans. After a while it was like that every day. Now, I don’t wear uniforms anymore.”

RANDOMNESS
Mar 23rd, 2002 by Clark Humphrey

WHY, AND HOW, a major publisher would try to keep its own book off the bestseller lists.

FOLLOWING UP on a prior reference, a kindly reader submitted this link to (wondrous) images of Chris Ware’s 3-D paper toys!

A FRENCH CONSPIRACY THEORIST offers up some (dubious, in my opinion) theories about what really happened at the Pentagon on Sept. 11 in the form of a photo-seek type game, “Hunt the Boeing!”

ANNOY YOUR CO-WORKERS with an array of buzzer, horn, bell, and siren noises, all downloadable and ready to be turned into your computer’s standard alert sound.

IT’S BEEN A BANNER YEAR for business blunders; one magazine has found and ranked 101 of them! (Only 15 of which directly involve Enron.)

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