The Official Drinking Game of the 1996 Olympics!

by Clark Humphrey with guidance from

Susan Rathke, Eric Fredericksen, Regan Holden, Nicolle Farup, and Skillit.

7/25/96

1. You can’t go to the bathroom until you see a close-up of a non-US athlete.

2. Drink every time an advertiser is mentioned as “an official sponsor of the Olympics.”

3. Finish off your drink every time an advertiser tries to cheat by calling itself merely “an official broadcast sponsor of the Olympics telecast.”

4. Anyone who laughs during the mini Leno show is immediately disqualified.

5. Drink with every “walking along the beach” reflective shot.

6. Puke continuously with every montage of heroic little girls.

7. Finish your drink every time they say, in an “up close and personal” interview, “How did the death of your mother/father affect your training/performance today?”

8. Drink twice every time they accuse a non-US winner of using drugs and/or cheating.

9. Drink whenever the color guy working gymnastics with John Tesh criticizes a gymnast’s dismount.

10. Drink whenever anyone refers to Ahmad Rashad as “NBC’s ambassador to the Olympics.”

11. Drink whenever someone mentions the buses not running on time.

12. Drink any time the clop showing Bela Carolyi carrying whatsherbutt with the sprained ankle is shown.

13. Throw your drink at the TV whenever they say, “Here in Hot-Lanta!”