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TUESDAY MORNING SNARK #2
Jan 12th, 2010 by Clark Humphrey

The owner of Salty’s on Alki (and former owner of Red Robin and a string of fern bars) is a big right wing political talker and fundraiser.

THE PURSUIT OF HEDONISM
Jan 11th, 2010 by Clark Humphrey

A kind reader recently slipped me a rare copy of The Hedonist: In Pursuit of Pleasure and Happiness. It’s a self-published local restaurant and entertainment guide from 1970.


“Typeset” on a typewriter (remember those?) with what look like press-type headlines (remember those?), the slim paperback provides a handy, informal peek at what Seattle was like four long decades ago.


It just happens that 1970 was a very pivotal year around here. The Seattle Pilots baseball team split for Milwaukee after just one season, temporarily dashing civic boosters’ hopes of Seattle becoming a “big league city.” Boeing executed its first massive layoffs, plunging the region into a deep recession that stuck around for several years.


The youth culture was also changing. The flower-power era was quickly fading. The “grownup hippie” milieu of mellow blues-rock bands and foodie bistros was slowly emerging.


In this time of uncertainty, The Hedonist’s editors (William L. Hailey, Joan Frederickson, and Sharon Minteer) and a small team of co-writers took it upon themselves to list the ways a young adult in Seattle could eat, drink, dance, shop, and play.


They tell all about such onetime major city attractions as Morningtown Pizza on Roosevelt (“Come as you are—when you get there, you’ll see that everyone else did, too”), the pre-burger-chain Red Robin near Eastlake (“Once a comfortable, clannish tavern suitable for intimate drunken orgies, the Robin now shelters those who would be hip for a few hours on Friday night and sell shoes and encyclopedias the rest of the week”), and First Avenue’s “amusement arcades” (“films are silent, uncensored, and done on extremely short subjects. No minors, no women allowed to view films and ID please”).


You learn about some of the hundreds of tiny storefront taverns that dotted the city during those days of more restrictive litter laws. Places like the Rat Hole in Wallingford (“shingled walls are covered with posters and road signs; the floor is barely visible through the sawdust covering”), the Century on upper University Way (“a welcome relief from the swinging world of the university beer halls”), and Your Mother’s Mustache in Pioneer Square (“revisit your childhood in the ‘Pillow Play Room’—a bathtub full of pillows, tinker toys and carpeting to sit on”).


What did they say about Capitol Hill? Glad you asked.


A brief chapter about the neighborhood opens with a brief essay by contributing writer Jeannette Franks: “Capitol Hill still hasn’t decided whether it is a haven for hippies, rich kids or little old ladies. Consequently, it has something for everyone, but not a lot for anyone. Shops spring up like mushrooms and vanish as quickly, so don’t get too attached to any one place. The following are expected to be with us for a while, but one never knows just how long.”


A few of the establishments listed in that chapter, and elsewhere in the book, did last a while. Fillipi’s Book and Record Shop ran until 2000 or so; the Keeg’s and Del-Teet furniture stores lasted into the 1980s


We’ve still got the Harvard Exit (“the only movie house with soul”). And the Comet (“This small, friendly tavern on Capitol Hill caters primarily to hip young people…. The management prefers country music, but this is not adamant.”


Where Joe Bar is now, there was once the Russian Samovar restaurant. (“No reservations are necessary to enjoy this old world Russian cuisine, and ‘a little wine for thy stomach’s sake.'”)


Along the 10th Avenue East business strip near the Roanoke Park Place Tavern, there used to be the New York Style Deli. (“Not quite New York style, but good. A little old lady will appreciate your business. Open until midnight.


Those two places I remember. I have no memory of Oquasa Inc. on Broadway (“a head shop with assorted beads, bells vests and candles but no papers”). Nor did I ever visit Demitri’s Coffee House on East Pine (“Demitri has filled all nine of his rooms with fresh flowers, precious old things, bric-a-brac, statues, music—almost anything”).


A short chapter toward the end of the book lists eleven bars and other sites around town “For the Involved Gay.” Only one of these has a Capitol Hill address—Dorian House, the predecessor to the still-operating Seattle Counseling Service for Sexual Minorities.


Then there’s the chapter about “Things To Do For About a Dollar.” It contains an odd little item entitled “Giant Ice Cube.” It reads: “The ice machine at 18th and Madison sells 25-pound blocks of ice for 60 cents. Take these oversized ice cubes to a grassy hill in the Arboretum and ‘ride’ it to the bottom. This may not be a hot idea, but it will freeze your social position in the community.”


I like to think we’ve got better entertainment options than that now.


(Expanded from a column in the Capitol Hill Times.)

SPEECHLESS, ETC.
Jan 11th, 2010 by Clark Humphrey

As you may know, film reviewing legend Roger Ebert can no longer speak, following several surgeries in recent years. Turns out he can no longer eat or drink either. But that doesn’t stop him from remembering the great tastes of his past.

WILL THIS CIRCLE BE UNBROKEN?
Jan 8th, 2010 by Clark Humphrey

Occasionally, readers ask why I stopped writing the “Junk Food of the Month,” a once popular part of this site. I just fell out of the practice two or three diets ago.

But today I am happy to report having seen, and consumed Top Pot’s new Elvis Doughnut.

It’s “a raised sugar doughnut with a maple cream frosting and studded with caramelized bacon bits.” It’s only at Top Pot’s Belltown location, and only there today.

It’s not as gross as it sounds. It’s quite good, in fact. It’s like a sweet bacon pancake at room temperature.

A Portland shop offers a similar product on its regular menu. Would Top Pot consider this as a regular offering? Maybe if you ask hard and often enough.

(Image from SeattleTwist.com)

AS OTHERS SEE US
Jan 6th, 2010 by Clark Humphrey

The NY Times has officially decreed Seattle’s official indigenous fast-foodstuff. It’s teriyaki.

INS & OUTS FOR THE YEAR OF 20/10 WINDOW CLEANER
Jan 1st, 2010 by Clark Humphrey

It’s the madcap return of the MISCmedia In/Out List.

As always, this listing denotes what will become hot or not-so-hot during the next year, not necessarily what’s hot or not-so-hot now. If you believe everything hot now will just keep getting hotter, I’ve got a great house for sale at its 2007 price.


INSVILLE

OUTSKI

Tablet Mac

Barnes & Noble Nook

Live theater

Reality TV “stars”

Sultry

Cute

Building a progressive infrastructure

Caving to big business

Sicilian pizza

Carne asada

Real breasts

Fake speakeasies

Adult books

[adult swim]

Webisode dramas

LOLcats

Rapid transit

Slow food

Rock bands

RockBand

Taco trucks

Tonka trucks

Rose water

Imitation bacon flavor

10th and East Pike

The Bravern

Pies

Cupcakes

Coptic

Kabbalah

Wanda Sykes

Jay Leno

Steampunk

Transhumanism

Medicare for (almost) all

Liebermanian faux-reform

Intellectual doubt

Emotional certainty

Facts

Power

Open source

Windows Mobile

Artisanship

Outsourcing

Hats

Hoodies

Big John’s PFI

Whole Foods (still)

Turquoise

Pink

Public sex

Private banks

Paz de la Huerta

Kristen Stewart

Bellingham tourism

Forks tourism

Chelsea Lately

My Life on the D-List

Sam Worthington

Daniel Day-Lewis

AMC

TLC

Pho

Claritin

Modern Family

Ugly Betty

The end of As the World Turns

The end of Lost

Writing implements

Financial instruments

Thermals

Kelly Clarkson

Death of landline phone service

Death of newspapers

Red Dress reunion

Soundgarden reunion

Saving farmland

Playing Farmville
ELLIOTT BAY UPDATE
Dec 13th, 2009 by Clark Humphrey

Looks like the current lessee of the Elliott Bay Book Co.’s cafe space will follow the store to its new Capitol Hill location.

AS IF YOU COULDN’T HAVE GUESSED
Nov 12th, 2009 by Clark Humphrey

That Ivar’s chowder billboard that was supposedly installed underwater decades ago?

Yep. A phony publicity stunt.

WHEN WOMEN HAD WINGS
Oct 8th, 2009 by Clark Humphrey

Hooters just opened in South Park, the first national chain restaurant in that defiantly unchained pocket neighborhood.

(Update 10/11/09: I got there today. It’s really in Boulevard Park, a tiny commercial strip separated from the South Park neighborhood by a lonely highway overpass. A McDonald’s already exists along this strip.)

I don’t particularly care for Hooters.

I really don’t care for essays that attack Hooters from the standpoint of simplistic gender-ideology, such as Lindy West’s piece in the Stranger.

On the other hand, I love the comment thread following West’s piece.

The commenters hit upon some important points West had elided past:

  • Is Hooters’ food really any good? (Some say yes; others insist on the superiority of locally-owned hot wing emporia such as Wing Dome.)
  • Is the “Hooters Girl” image demeaning to all women? (Some say yes; some say no; I say there’s no such thing as “all women.”)
  • Is it wrong to use sex to sell stuff? (If so, many commenters note, the Stranger would be at least as guilty.)
  • Are West and the Stranger contradicting their “sex positive” stance? (I say no, they’re simply overriding it with a stance that’s even more vital to “alt” culture—the stance of sneering at anything to do with “the wrong kind of white people”.)

West, most of the commenters, and I agree on one point—the Hooters Girl look (apparently inspired by the sorority-slut uniforms in the 1979 sexploitation film H.O.T.S.) is, to all of us, decidedly unsexy.

And the whole Hooters aesthetic/experience conjures association with/nostalgia for fraternity-sorority bonding, but is profoundly anti-intellectual and anti-education. The apparent ideal Hooters customer is an adult who went to college but didn’t learn anything.

WHO-KNEW? DEPT.
May 1st, 2009 by Clark Humphrey

“Better diets more costly.”

THEY'RE MAKING BUTTERFINGER BARS WITH CAFFEINE…
Mar 12th, 2009 by Clark Humphrey

…these days. As if the kiddies weren’t hyper enough already.

GOOD NEWS DEPT.
Feb 19th, 2009 by Clark Humphrey

Seattle’s own Pizzeria Pagliacci has its 30th anniversary today, with 95-cent slices. I had two, at the original location on University Way. (Yes, I’d been there in its opening week.) Both of today’s slices were right out of the oven. They were slick, sloppy, greasy, gooey, and utterly satisfying.

IN THE MID-'80S,…
Dec 5th, 2008 by Clark Humphrey

…some clever entrepreneur finally caught the idea of putting out officially licensed Popeye brand bagged spinach. It took another two decades for somebody else (specifically, Safeway (which, despite the oft-spread urban legend, IS NOT and NEVER WAS “owned by the Mormons”)) to come up with officially licensed Bugs Bunny carrots!

Bugs Bunny brand carrots image

(Thanx and a hat tip to Matthew Hunter of Golden Age Cartoons.)

SUGAR-FREE SUGAR
Nov 24th, 2008 by Clark Humphrey


If anyone has a reasonable explanation for this, please tell me.

I'VE BEEN RISING…
Oct 20th, 2008 by Clark Humphrey

…at ungodly predawn hours this past month, schleppin’ to a suburban temp job. Writing hasn’t been among my biggest compulsions upon arriving home. Sorry.

There are still things worth mentioning, to be sure:


  • ANDY’S DINER IS SAVED!
    Well, at least the historic building on Fourth Avenue South, assembled from vintage railroad cars. It now houses a Chinese restaurant, bearing the appropriate title of Orient Express.

  • OUR PAL DAVID NEIWERT
    has done his own Sarah Palin research, direct from Alaska. It confirms just about the worst you’ve heard about her.

  • I’VE BEEN SILENT
    about other election stuff, but someone else has handily provided a Sensible Guide to Voting in Washington.

  • A FOOD DELIVERY TRUCK
    tipped over on a Tacoma highway, spilling 45,000 pounds of chocolate, ice cream, deli meats, and hot dogs. Mmm, the four great tastes that taste great together.
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