…appeared on The Daily Show, and Jon Stewart, that belovedly shameless punster, just had to open with a wisecrack (that fell flat with the studio audience) about the candidate’s “lovely wife and her delicious fishsticks.”

While Rep. Paul is not related to Mrs. Paul’s (which was founded by two guys, natch), our own state does have an ex-politician from the frozen-seafood biz.

The longtime “member owned” grocery wholesale co-op has sold itself to a California firm, having already sold the land under its massive Georgetown plant to developer David Sabey.

AG, born of a Depression-era cost squeeze among mom-n’-pop grocers, was Washington’s #2 supermarket “chain” at its peak. It owned the Thriftway franchise brand, from which QFC, Larry’s Markets, and Metropolitan Market were all spun off. For years it ran a full service operation; it not only stocked stores, but designed and built stores and ran advertising and data-processing for its members. (Here in Seattle, one of the last AG-designed stores was the now-shuttered Fremont Red Apple.)

AG’s beginning-O-the-end came when Cincinnati’s Kroger bought Fred Meyer, which had previously bought QFC. QFC pulled out of AG, setting up its own in-house distro operation. QFC also bought out many of the key AG-member indies; other single-store and small-chain operators, such as Larry’s, collapsed as the industry kept consolidating. Left to protect the investment of its remaining members, AG sold out. Chalk up another “vanished” Seattle institution.

…this is the week when a major Seattle aesthetic institution marks a new opening, in a much larger, fancier space.

I speak, of course, of the Queen Anne QFC.

This 45,000-square-foot palace of sensual pleasure is twice the size of the chain’s prior unit six blocks west (a site acquired in 1974 from the once-mighty A&P). The new gallery of edibles is at the ground floor of a behemoth condo development, on land vacated by another once-mighty retailer, Tower Records.

The “store,” if you must call it that, contains all the departments you’d expect and more–a fish market, deli, “bistro,” sandwich bar, walk-in wine cooler, walk-in flower cooler, pharmacy, and, natch, a Starbucks stand.

As for product selection, it includes almost all the sometimes obscure brands I sought. It’s got HP and Pickapeppa steak sauces, Fisher scone mix, Session Lager, Hungry-Man frozen dinners, Millstone coffee, whole-wheat spaghetti, and liquid smoke. It didn’t have Moxie pop, but a manager promised it would show up next week. As for two other products it lacks, Campbell’s pepper pot soup and Arizona diet green tea, the folks in charge said they’d look into getting ’em.

This ongoing tribute to the wonders of human taste is open 24 hours a day, with no admission charge (though it’s hoped you’ll purchase some merchandise while you’re there).

As for that other local aesthetic institution opening an expanded space, the Seattle Art Museum’s grand new digs at First and Union are open free for a 35-hour marathon today and Sunday, for art lovers and Cinco de Mayo amateur drunks alike.

…with probably the best Christmas cartoon from the Golden Age of the movies, Hugh Harman’s Peace on Earth. (This is the one where the last battle that destroys the human race is the war between the vegetarians and the meat eaters.)

The former UW football star and early NFL great was best known locally for the namesake diner-bar he ran on Broadway for some 50 years. Generations of hipsters fondly recall Steele’s lovable but gruff presence behind the bar, ready at a moment’s notice to snipe at any young whippersnapper who dared to rest an elbow on a table.

CBS has signed up for promotional announcements on perishable food products.

Meanwhile, CBS’s former parent co. Viacom is allegedly in talks to buy The Onion, the satirical newspaper and Web site originally co-founded by some of the original Stranger crew.

And Seattle mayor Greg Nickels, sounding more like his onetime election opponent Mark Sidran every week, told a Seattle Channel talk-show caller that he believed strip club owners were linked to “organized crime.” He specifically cited Rick’s/Sugar’s owners Frank Colacurcio Sr. and Jr., they of the conveniently-stereotypable Italian-American surname. The Colacurcios may be sly businessmen who exploit every advantage and try to create others; but so’s Paul Allen.

…the latest (sporty, streamlined, high-mileage) Oscar Meyer Wienermobile showed up, along with a video crew. Young attendees of the Center’s Children’s Festival were invited to have themselves taped extolling their love of packaged meat products in song.

And now there are Spanish-language lyrics to the “Wiener Song.” Let’s all sing along, shall we?

…has issued a book all about the “food traditions of the Northwest.” Apparently not included: Almond Roca, Idaho Spud bars, Tim’s Cascade Chips, Oberto beef jerkey, or the Dick’s Deluxe.

…about assembling a picture book about disappeared Seattle landmarks is the fact that more landmarks keep on a-dissapearin.’ Next: the Ballard Denny’s, which is both that chain’s next-to-last Seattle outlet (there’s still one on Fourth Avenue South) and the former last branch of the once-mighty Manning’s chain. O, when will the madness cease?

Let us now praise the brave owners of the Hillcrest Market, set to reopen sometime soon (perhaps this upcoming month) at Summit Avenue and Denny Way.

When the old Hillcrest burned in July 2004, insurers deemed it too damaged to be repaired. The old building was unceremoniously bulldozed. It had operated under the Hillcrest name since 1959, but had been selling groceries at least since the 1930s (it was originally a pre-supermarket-era Safeway).

That might have been the end of it. The Hillcrest’s owners could have cut their losses, sold out, and perhaps retired on the proceeds of the real estate. The site’s small and awkwardly shaped, but that hasn’t stopped the developers of mid-rise condos and luxury apartments elsewhere on the Hill.

But instead, the Hillcrest’s owners chose to rebuild. It’s taken nearly two years. During this time, the land hasn’t earned a cent of income, other convenience stores have taken bigger shares of the neighborhood’s impulse-shopping business, Fred Meyer and Safeway abandoned their north Broadway locations, and independent food marts in other Seattle neighborhoods such as Fremont and Alki died off. The new Hillcrest will have to prove its worth in a changed retail environment.

I hope it succeeds. And not just because the old Hillcrest had Seattle’s best take-out fried chicken.
The old Hillcrest was, and I presume the new Hillcrest will be, a complete grocery store in a compact size. It wasn’t one of those tiny convenience outlets offering little beyond beer, cigarettes, and Lotto tickets. Nor was it one of those posh gourmet mini-marts offering lots of wine and cheese but little of anything else.

Rather, Hillcrest had a full produce department, an acceptably large fresh-meat selection, and a surprising depth in your other basic grocery product categories. You could handle all your food-buying needs there; though it lacked a supermarket’s higher volume, and hence couldn’t compete with a supermarket’s lower prices.

But as the industry evolves, with ever-larger supermarkets located ever-further apart, there may be a continued (or even enlarged) role for stores that offer what you need, when and where you need it.
Some big names are betting on it.

Tesco (Britain’s behemoth supermarket chain) announced in early February that it’s planning to invade the U.S. as early as next year. Tesco will (1) start its American invasion in the western states, where Wal-Mart (America’s behemoth everything chain) is at its sparsest, and (2) mostly build 5,000-square-foot “express” stores, offering full selections (including fruits and vegetables) in neighborhoods the full-size food marts have abandoned.

This is exactly what many urban storefront districts, and suburban strip-mall districts, have desperately needed for years.

Tesco’s push, if it goes through, would bring new respect and industry attention to the midsize store format. But, like many of you, I’d still prefer to transact my business with a local independent operator—particularly one who, like the Hillcrest’s defiant owners, have proven they care for our neighborhood and deserve our business.

Britain’s behemoth Tesco chain may start a circuit of 5,000-square-foot “express” supermarkets in the U.S. western states next year.

This is what neighborhoods such as Fremont, Belltown, Georgetown, Alki, and First Hill have needed. Something neighborhood-sized, but with broad selections (including fresh produce) at major-chain prices. I’ve wanted to see something like this for years.

Now comes the imminent closure of the Green Lake Albertsons, that neighborhood’s only full-service grocery. Something’s gotta be done to turn the food biz around so the stuff most folks eat and drink can be sold at competitive prices at walkable locations.

…in the state officially go smokeless.

Some bar owners have predicted a fiscal disaster, as smoking customers would find fewer reasons to linger in their favorite watering holes.

Alcohol service is one of Seattle’s biggest employers and most prominent industries. It’s an industry that’s continued to thrive while the rest of the regional economy’s sputtered and faltered.

One reason it’s continued to thrive has been its steady, piecemeal deregulation. A few oldtimers remember when hard liquor by the drink (a.k.a. cocktails) could only be served in Washington state at private clubs, such as the Elks. Later, from the 1950s on, the strong stuff could only be served in full-service restaurants. These restaurants had to offer full meals, devote more seating area to dining than to drinking, and earn a certain percentage of their revenues from food as opposed to liquor. In these places, as well as in beer-and-wine-only taverns, the taps officially shut down at 1 a.m. Monday through Friday, and at midnight on Saturday. Sundays were dry all day.

Even the number of drinking places in a neighborhood was restricted, by regulations designed to limit “destination” nightlife areas. The idea was to limit drunk driving by making people drink closer to their homes, but it never really worked in that regard; particularly in the suburbs, where everybody drove anyway.

Over the years, the Washington State Liquor Control Board relaxed these restrictions a little at a time. Perhaps the two most important steps came in the mid-1990s.

The neighborhood bar limits were eased, leading to robust nightlife zones in Pike-Pine, Belltown, South Lake Union, and most recently in Fremont.

Cocktail lounges still had to offer something vaguely resembling food, but no longer had to be adjuncts to restaurants–the “bar menu” could be as simple as microwaved frozen entrees. This move, which coincided with the outbreak of the “cocktail nation” fad, gave previously beer-and-wine-only outlets access to higher profit-margin items, making the whole business less of a gamble.

But while public drinking became more convenient, public smoking was the new target of restriction. With the passage of a state initiative last month, Washington’s now got the nation’s toughest anti-smoking laws.

As a result, a local hospitality industry that had seen nothing but growth for a decade now sees a threat to its livelihood.

Cigar bars, and that new downtown fad of hookah bars, will have to sue the state in court to continue existing.

Bars will no longer get big promotional incentives and advertising support from tobacco companies. (Bars will still be allowed to sell smokes for off-premises consumption.)

And fewer regular customers, some bar owners predict, will show up. When they do show up, they’ll linger for shorter amounts of time, hence buying fewer drinks, because their nicotine urges will force them outside.

I have my doubts about the latter concern. There are more and more nonsmokers out there these days, though you wouldn’t know it if you hung out at some bars. I know several people who no longer go to bars or nightclubs, even when their favorite musical act’s playing, out of an aversion to second-hand smoke. The absence of such smoke from drinking establishments can increase, not deacrease, their potential customer base.

IN OTHER BOOZE NOOZE, Seattle City Councilmember Tom Rasmussen has introduced a bill that would offficially designate all of central Seattle, including Capitol Hill, as an “alcohol impact area.”

The anti-smoking law impacts on-premises drinking spots; Rasmussen’s bill would impact retail stores. These businesses would no longer be allowed to sell fortified wines or malt liquors. They couldn’t sell single cans or bottles of beer or single-serving bottles of wine. They couldn’t sell any alcohol prior to 9 a.m. daily (up from the current 6 a.m.).

Such restrictions have already been “voluntarily” imposed on retailers in the Central Area and Pioneer Square; but that’s just sent these products’ customers elsewhere. Now Rasmussen wants to impose it upon a wide swath of the city.

This bill is unabashedly class-biased. It would make it harder for poor people to get cheap booze. It wouldn’t help poor alcoholics get treatment. It wouldn’t stop people with money from making drunken fools of themselves in public. It would only affect the surface image of Seattle as a “clean city” inhabited only by “nice people.”

…the Fremont Red Apple Market is holding a going-out-of-biz sale, along the lines of the now-also-shuttered Alki Market in West Seattle and Rogers Foods on MLK Way.

All of these proud indie supermarkets had been under the TLC of Associated Grocers, the venerable merchant cooperative based south of Boeing Field. For decades, AG has provided wholesale buying, warehousing, ad design/placement, and other services for mom-and-pops and regional chains in Washington and Alaska, helping them compete against the likes of Safeway.

AG’s most important service, though, may have been as a startup helper. It had a program to build, equip, and stock a full supermarket for anyone willing to put up the money. When Lucky Stores pulled out of the Seattle region in the mid-1980s, AG bought its remaining locations and resold them to individual operators; the Ballard Market on NW 15th St. is one of these.

But the ’90s brought the Kroger takeover of QFC, which had been one of AG’s most dominant members. QFC pulled out of AG, and also either bought out or drove out several of AG’s top indies (Art’s Family Center on Holman Road, Food Giant in Wallingford, Mathews Market in Wedgwood).

A weakened AG had to discontinue its startup program and cut back services to its remaining members. These moves hit hardest on the one-store operators such as Rogers, Alki, and now Fremont.

This disturbing trend hits hard on the neighborhoods that relied on these stores. And it hurts the dreams of those of us who’d like to see full grocery selections available in neighborhoods that don’t how have ’em (Belltown, Georgetown).

…that onetime top Wash. state export, the Red Delicious apple?