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GOING UP TO ELEVEN
Dec 31st, 2010 by Clark Humphrey

I know a LOT of people who are spending this day and upcoming night wishing a good riddance to this epic fail of a year we’ve had.

The economy in much of the world (for non-zillionaires) just continued to sluggishly sputter and cough. Thousands more lost jobs, homes, 401Ks, etc.

The implosion of the national Republican Party organization cleared the way (though not in this state) for a wave of pseudo-populist demagogue candidates who only appeared in right-wing media, because those were the only places where their nonsensical worldviews made pseudo-sense. Enough of these candidates made enough of a stir to take control of the US House of Reps., which they have already turned back over to their mega-corporate masters.

And we had the BP spill, continuing mideast/Afghan turmoils, violent drug-turf wars in several countries, floods in Pakistan, a bad quake in Haiti, the deaths of a lot of good people, and a hundred channels of stupid “reality” shows.

Locally, a number of ballot measures were introduced to at least stem the state’s horrid tax unfairness, while staving off the worst public-service budget cuts. They all failed.

And the South Park bridge was removed without a clear replacement schedule, the Deeply Boring Tunnel project continued apace, the Seattle Times got ever crankier (though it stopped getting thinner), and our major men’s sports teams were mediocre as ever. Seattle Center bosses chose to replace a populist for-profit concession (the Fun Forest) with an upscale-kitsch for-profit concession (Chihuly).

Alleviating factors: (Most) American troops are out of Iraq. Something approximating health care reform, and something approximating the end of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, both passed. Conan O’Brien resurfaced; Jon and Stephen worked to restore sanity and/or fear. The Storm won another title. The football Huskies had a triumphant last hurrah; the Seahawks might get the same. Cool thingamajigs like the iPad and Kinect showed up. Seattle has emerged as the fulcrum of the ebook industry, America’s fastest growing media genre. The Boeing 787’s continued hangups have proven some technologies just can’t be outsourced.

My personal resolution in 1/1/11 and days beyond: To find myself a post-freelance, post-journalism career.

GROUP HEALTH…
Jun 24th, 2009 by Clark Humphrey

…national role model?

TOO MUCH INFORMATION BUT FOR A GOOD CAUSE
Jan 30th, 2009 by Clark Humphrey

Pearl Jam guitarist Mike McCready tells state legislators about his gastrointestinal sufferings.

ANOTHER USELESS WAR
Jun 17th, 2008 by Clark Humphrey

The nonexistent (outside Africa) hetero AIDS scare that was supposed to hit us any year now has cost governments and health groups about a billion bucks. Bucks that could’ve been spent on treatments and possible preventions for those who really did have it, or who really were at risk.

OBAMA-LATION…
Feb 13th, 2008 by Clark Humphrey

…rolls along, even into primary states. Elsewhere:

THURSDAY! IT'S THURSDAY!…
Jan 24th, 2008 by Clark Humphrey

…And in the nooze:

  • The local biz world would be a less poppin’ place if out-of-staters take over WaMu.
  • Affordable-health-care advocates have picked their current local target business—not some big-box retailer but the venerable 13 Coins restaurants.
  • The Wash. State Legislature— America’s second gayest.
  • Metro’s got more riders than ever. Don’t worry; the Eymans and Reicherts will keep insisting on car-only transportation solutions, no matter what.
  • Coyotes are so 2007. The new feral menace in Seattle: Exotic cats.
THURSDAY! IT'S HERE!
Jan 17th, 2008 by Clark Humphrey

And these are among the stories you might discuss at work, on the bus, or in chatrooms:

  • A “person of interest” is in custody in the New Year’s Eve stabbing on Capitol Hill.
  • A stage musical based on the Shrek movies premieres in Seattle this fall. As you all remember, the plot of the first Shrek film involved an egomaniacal feudal lord who wanted to banish from his realm anything funky, funny, strange, or otherwise less than upscale. Seattle will be a perfect place to retell this. Speaking of which…
  • Will any arts groups be left at the Capitol Hill Odd Fellows hall after the new landlord’s done raising the rents?
  • Bush decreed the Navy doesn’t have to follow environmental regulations; allowing sonar transmissions no matter what they do to whales. Remember: The military is here to protect.
  • The SeaTimes points with pride to a volunteer patrol that’s helping drive the hookers away from Aurora Avenue. Of course, without the hookers, all Aurora has to offer is the Beth’s Cafe 12-egg omelet.
  • Reversing past trends, the developers of a partially-built condo project in Lower Queen Anne will instead convert the building to rentals.
  • The Seattle Monorail Project will soon settle its affairs and shut down; while vague plans for an Eastside commuter rail line begin to take shape.
  • The revised date on a city hearing to discuss preserving the endangered Manning’s/Denny’s building in Ballard: Feb. 20.
  • State Sen. Eric Oemig, D-Kirkland, would like the Legislature to go on record supporting Bush’s impeachment.
  • Not so painless: The anesthesiology staff at Northwest Hospital asked for a pay raise. Instead, the hospital’s CEO fired them all.
WE'VE GOT THREE…
Jan 16th, 2008 by Clark Humphrey

…GOP presidential frontrunners as of this morning, and none of them are Fred Thompson. In other news:

  • Boeing’s 787 Dreamliner may face still more delays. How smart does globally-outsourced component construction sound now?
  • Raw milk— its proponents claim it’s really good for you. Except when it isn’t.
  • An appeals court ordered the Belltown-based Mars Hill Graduate School (not connected with Mars Hill Church) to pay $300,000 to its first female faculty member, in a long-standing discrimination suit.
  • REI’s building an eco-friendly store in Texas. Now the weekend warriors who drive 75 miles or more to their wide-open spaces can feel a little less guilty.
  • A state legislator would like to ban plastic grocery bags. Yeah, but then how will our children learn the pleasures of self-asphyxiation?
  • There was a cable TV outage in Kent Tuesday, due to pranksters shooting at utility lines.
  • Richard McIver’s charges were dropped, one day before his domestic-abuse trial was to have started.
  • Tully’s Coffee underwent another executive purge. Make your own “grounds for concern” joke here.
ONE MORE REASON…
Jan 3rd, 2008 by Clark Humphrey

…to love one of my alma mamas: Oregon State U. researchers have found beer can fight cancer!

IN SATURDAY'S NOOZE
Dec 1st, 2007 by Clark Humphrey

  • PCC groceries ban all products containing high fructose corn syrup. Remember: When mainstream soda pop is outlawed, only outlaws will Do the Dew.
  • The biggest class action lawsuit in Wash. state history’s underway. The class of plaintiffs: Every Washingtonian who’s ever worked for Wal-Mart.
  • Those Kansas “Christians” harassing the families of dead gay soldiers at funerals showed up in Port Orchard, along with the expected counter-protesters.
  • The state Dept. of Ecology claims stormwater drainage from parking lots, driveways, and roads sends more than six million gallons of petroleum into Puget Sound every year. That’s about half the output of the Exxon Valdez disaster, a drop at a time.
  • Today’s dentist-caught-abusing-sedated-female-patients story comes to you from Shoreline.
  • Beware of “sham recyclers,” outfits that charge you to take your stuff away and then just dump it in landfills.
IN WEDNESDAY'S NOOZE
Nov 28th, 2007 by Clark Humphrey

IN TUESDAY'S NOOZE
Nov 20th, 2007 by Clark Humphrey

  • The end of the ride may finally be in sight for the delightfully seedy/carny Seattle Center Fun Forest. The amusement park’s lessee/operators never recovered from losing a big chunk of their space to the Experience Music Project. They’re way behind on their rent to the City. Everybody in city and county officialdom wants the arcades and rides outta there. They’d like to replace it all with something more befitting of New Seattle world-class-osity, such as a big lawn peppered with public art, or a miniature “real” forest. Will nobody step forward in defense of this business-for-pleasure, this bastion of pre-Space Mountain carnivality?
  • Glammie-gate’s repercussions continue. Gay Bingo’s new boss told its beloved host, the foul-mouthed drag performer Glamazonia, to clean up her act or be gone. As you might expect, she didn’t go away quietly.And again this year, the Sheraton’s got a huge display of gingerbread structures to benefit, of all causes, the Juvenile Diabetes Foundation.
FROM THE TOWN…
Nov 19th, 2007 by Clark Humphrey

…of nature poets and whale paintings, comes some disrespect toward some vulnerable human lives. A nursing home in Port Townsend wants to kick out old people just because they’re on Medicaid.

CAMPAIGN PROMISE OF THE DAY
Oct 29th, 2007 by Clark Humphrey

John Edwards vows, if elected, to crack down on those annoying prescription drug commercials.

THERE'VE BEEN TOO MANY…
Oct 26th, 2007 by Clark Humphrey

…of these already, but there’s a need for another benefit concert for a musician who doesn’t have health insurance. This time, it’s our ol’ pal and Fastbacks/Visqueen legend Kim Warnick. She’s come down with something that landed her in a hospital, and we’ve gotta help her out. The usual parade of local music all stars and major raffle prizes will occur Tuesday, Oct. 30 at the new Cha Cha Lounge, 1013 E. Pike.

As more new-music pioneers like Warnick enter the golden years, we’ll have to hold more and more of these benefits. Unless we get our politicians off their collective posteriors and establish a sane health-care system in this land.

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