…has issued a book all about the “food traditions of the Northwest.” Apparently not included: Almond Roca, Idaho Spud bars, Tim’s Cascade Chips, Oberto beef jerkey, or the Dick’s Deluxe.

• Bill Clinton’s attached his name to a drive to get soda pop out of grade and middle schools. Remember: When being a Pepper is outlawed, only outlaws will be Peppers.
• We must say goodbye to financial reporter and early PBS star Louis Rukeyser. His pallbearers, I’m sure, will be “the elves who compile our technical market index.”
• The guy in charge of Ohio’s either incompetent or corrupt election system is now that state’s official GOP gubernatorial nominee. As if you’d expect him not to win somehow.
• Lay’s potato chips—now with “good” cholesterol.
• Sign of the Apocalypse #532: Mickey Mouse goes CGI.

“Marijuana is now Washington state’s No. 8 leading agricultural product. In other news, Cheetos and Ho-Hos remain the state’s leading imports.”

Actually, no. Frito-Lay has a plant just off the Columbia in Vancouver USA, and Hostess is still ensconced in Seattle on Dexter (or “Dextrose”) Avenue.

• The rediscovery of old film classics thanks to DVD.
• We’re still a two-daily-paper town, at least for now.
• Hi-def TV.
• The strong early sales for my e-book about hi-def TV.
• The so-called Blogosphere, in recent years one of the last uncompromised bastions of democratic debate.
• New awareness of body/mind diversity.
• My father’s long years of slow, pathetic decline finally ended this January.
• I’ve gotten one-third of the way out of my massive personal debt, and should be all clear by year’s end.
• I have a regular print outlet for my work, and am in negotiations about a day job.
• I’ve known some fabulous babes in my day, many with exciting and dynamic careers.
• The many fine products of North America’s convenience foods industry.
• Those who are still willing to fight back against the right-wing sleaze machine.
• Local microbrews.
• Seeing several friends survive debilitating conditions and come back with humor and dignity intact.
• Being back in my favorite neighborhood.
• Being high n’ dry.
• Having a loving, caring, loyal readership. Thank you.

I always like to wrap my lips around something fishy.

No, not from his own creation, but from the ol’ natural causes at the well-preservatived age of 92. It turns out Bill Mitchell was responsible for most of the General Foods miracle products of the ’50s-’80s, from Cool Whip to Jell-O 1-2-3! Here’s the Atlantic‘s remembrance.

…(on an M&M’s M-Azing chocolate bar): “Enjoyment Tip: Do not use if inner foil is broken or torn.” Of course, if you eat it with the foil still on, it tastes far different but doubles the nutritional value….

…to know the Athens Olympics have their tight security measures firmly in place, ready to strike back in an instant against fans carrying Pepsi products into the Coke-sponsored events.

(on a package of Overload peanut butter cups, one of them topped with “rainbow candy” coated chocolate pieces): “Mars, Incorporated has no affiliation with the producer or distributor of this product and has no participation in the production of this product.”

THE FINE PRINT #2 (from the introductory disclaimer to the e-book The Top 100 Lovemaking Techniques of All Time): “Some of the techniques described in this book call for you or your partner to have cough drops, mints, ice cubes and other objects in your mouth. Be very careful not to swallow these objects while performing these techniques. If you think there is even the slightest possibility that you could accidentally swallow one these of these objects, STOP PERFORMING THE TECHNIQUE IMMEDIATELY. There are plenty of other ones that you can do instead.”

(on the back of the wrapper for a Brown & Haley Carbs-In-Line “Chocolatey Indulgence with Mint” candy bar): “Excessive consumption may have a laxative effect. Individual sensitivity may vary.”

…there’s a drive within Britain’s Parlaiment to ban junk food ads aimed at kids. MPs were particularly miffed by Cadbury’s “Get Active” promotion, in which schools could get free playground equipment if students donated enough candy wrappers. Fortunately for advocates of free speech (and of some of the only decent food-like products that nation produces), a ban now seems unlikely.

I say: When Tony the Tiger is outlawed, only outlaws will be grrrr-eat!

…“sick foods,” but I make up for it with well drinks.

…who takes snack foods seriously. There’s also “Taquitos.net’s World of Potato Chips and Snacks.” Reviews of beef jerkey, kettle korn, candy bars, crackers, pretzels, donuts, fast-food sandwiches, and, yes, chips of all types (except the silicon kind) abound. (Found via Larkfarm.)

WITH THE ARRIVAL of spring came the return, corporate galleries be damned, of the indie art walk in Occidental Park. Artists now have to buy a city license and sign a disclaimer attesting they’re selling their own stuff, but the freewheeling spirit of creation and discovery remains.

FOUND ON THE GROUND on East Pike Street: “We’re getting married tomorrow in Portland, whether you like it or not.”

THE QUINTON INSTRUMENTS building on Denny Way, formerly a warehouse for the old Frederick & Nelson department store, is coming down for one of Paul Allen’s megaprojects.

Quinton, now out in the far suburbs, makes, among other things, hi-tech treadmills. I trod on one at Providence Hospital last September. The diagnostician asked me to tell her when I was too pooped to keep running in place. Ten minutes later, after the machine’s difficulty level had been upped to six miles an hour at a fifteen percent uphill grade, I gave the word; which, of course, was “Jane, stop this crazy thing.”

ABOVE, the remains of Titlewave Books; which, as previously mentioned here, closed after nineteen years.

Below, the remains of Venus, the plus-size clothing boutique on Capitol Hill that insisted women of dimension are beautiful.

WITH MUCH LESS MEDIA HYPE this time around (thank God), Krispy Kreme opened its latest donut stand on First Avenue South last week, just in time to get the staff trained before nearby Safeco Field opens for the start of baseball season next week.

They promoted the new place by handing out boxes of the glazed circles downtown. The boxes include a full ingredient listing. Among the deliciously good things that go into those sweet Os: Vital wheat gluten, diammonium phosphate, sodium stearoyl-2-lactylate, ethoxylated mono-and-diglycerides, calcium propionate, fungal alpha amylase, pentosanase, protease, and carnuba wax.

KEXP’S PUTTING OUT POSTERS and postcards around town, aimed at helping the station’s core listeners feel proud of their indie-musical knowledge. This one, f’rinstance, is a cute joke if you know the two bands referenced by the visual clues. Since you all undoubtedly know them, I won’t have to tell the names here.

…are just too important to ignore. One of these is the 50th birthday of Tater Tots! Since Ore-Ida’s now owned by Heinz, the little golden-brown cylinders of goodness oughta be served up at every Kerry campaign dinner.