…upon our recent piece on Seattle writing, Ryan Boudinot has submitted “A Primer: How to Write a Great Northwest Novel.”

The Tribeca Film Festival in Manhattan’s running an online poll, asking fans to name their favorite “guilty pleasure” movie. The problem: Few, if any, of the 66 titles listed are all that “guilty.” Most are well-respected cult classics (Airplane!, Harold and Maude, Office Space, Dr. Strangelove, Repo Man, Young Frankenstein, etc.). The closest titles on the list to true guilty pleasures are Slap Shot and The Mack.

C’mon, guyz n’ galz: Where’s Revenge of the Cheerleaders? How Tasty Was My Little Frenchman? Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains? Santa Claus Conquers the Martians? Or at least Porky’s II: The Next Day?

For the record, my all-time G.P. film’s still Ring of Fire, which has been out of circulation, even on cable, for some years now alas.

…what would happen if Jesus ran for President.

None other than ex-Python boy Terry Jones has written a short fantasy story imagining Bush as a voluntary lobotomy recipient. (Excuse me for asking, but wouldn’t a Bush lobotomy be as impracticable as a female vascectomy?)

Globe and Mail TV writer John Doyle wrote about the Faux News Channel’s attempts to get onto Canadian cable systems. Doyle said his countrypeople should get the chance to see the channel so they could laugh at it.

Bill O’Reilly, on said channel, urged his viewers to send insulting emails to Doyle, as if Doyle would be impressed and won over by people calling him dumb names.

Doyle’s follow-up article sez: “The people who support Fox News must be the most uncivil and foul-mouthed creatures on the planet. This is an informed opinion. They’d give English soccer hooligans a run for their money.”

…to find non-NYC American society odd at best, dangerous at worst.

Case in point #1: A Guardian essay by George Monbiot describing a Texas county Republican convention as the key to understanding the horrors of Bushism: “Their beliefs are bonkers, but they are at the heart of power.”

Case in point #2: A piece in The Independent by Andrew Buncombe about the small Bible college in Virginia that’s sent more than its share of grads into jobs with Republican politicians.

BLENDER MAGAZINE thinks the worst song ever recorded is Starship’s “We Built This City.” I still stand by my declaration that no song other than Paul Anka’s “You’re Having My Baby” deserves, or might ever deserve, this status.

…at the under-construction SAM/Paul Allen waterfront sculpture park: British wire-sculptor Antony Gormley’s vision for a 12-meter-tall “Ejaculating Man!” (Scroll toward the bottom of the page.)

The concept didn’t make it past the selection committee, for fairly obvious reasons. Still, Gormley’s philosophical about the idea:

“The figure was meant to give an 11-second ejaculation of salt sea-water every five minutes, so there would’ve been a lot of people standing around waiting for it. I intended it as an ironic comment on the male figure in relation to the whole idea of a fountain, because everyone knows that the fountain is a male fantasy of permanent ejaculation. I wanted it to be a celebratory piece, but I don’t know if the feminists would find it offensive.”

…the Ms’ worst start in a decade, Drew Pierson’s posted a long, lucid Anti-Yankee Manifesto:: “A formal indictment of the New York Yankees, why they suck, and why you should hate them today.” (Found at Slumberland.)

THE BRIT WEBMAG The Register has devised a dandy name for the major record labels (and, by extension, to much of the global-corporate realm): “Pigopolists.”

YOU KNOW cross-platform marketing synergies have gone too far when a Virginia outfit launches NASCAR Ballet!

HOW MANY “Bushisms” from this list do you remember, and can you define the specific grammatical errors in each?

His allegations have a strong beat. You can dance to them. I’d give him a 92.

…with your very own “George W. Bush Scorecard of Evil.”

A BRITISH ORGANIZATION calling itself the “Plain English Campaign” has issued a list of its least-favorite current cliches. Listed: “Think outside the box,” “24/7,” “pushing the envelope.” Not listed: “Get your ducks in a row.”