Random responses from the
1998 Misc.-O-Rama Questionnaire
(6/8/98)
Favorite food/drink, if any:
- Sushi/Knob Creek
- Hamburgers
- Piroshky
- Rice/beer
- Violet Crumble bars
- Welch’s grape juice
- Champagne and cigarettes
- McMenamin’s Betrayal IPA ale
- Steak/martini
- Oysters/tequila
- Juice fast
- Pringle’s/Chimay
- Popcorn/Gatorade
- Cous-cous/Pernod
Favorite store, if any:
- UW Surplus
- Larry’s Market
- Gargoyles
- Chubby & Tubby
- QFC
- AM/PM
- Wall of Sound
- Ace Hardware
- Safeway
- The Herbalist
- Experience
- Nelson’s on Queen Anne
Favorite webstie, if any:
Favorite era, if any:
- Now
- `20s
- `40s
- `50s
- `66-’79
- `75-’85
- “Farrah”
- Medieval
- grunge
- punk rock
What I’d like in a Best-of-Misc. book:
- “Love/hate”
- “Plenty of nudity”
- “Taped pages”
- “Good pix to accompany the text”
- “Whatever you want”
- “Great bands that lasted less than 1 year”
- “Booze trivia”
- “Stains”
- “G.G. Allin’s poetry”
- “The psychological factors of living in our current society”
How I’d fix the Mariners:
- “Vinyl uniforms”
- “Sell them”
- “Hire cuter ones”
- “Like a verterinarian”
- “Move to another state”
- “Give everyone more money (me too)”
- “Two words: George Karl”
- “Ignore them”
- “Let Piniella play”
My unofficial nickname for Safeco Field:
- “Apocalypse Now”
- “Unsafeco Field”
- “Pioneer Saloon”
- “Sandman’s Mud”
- “Money Pit”
- “Tremor Tiers”
- “Rainier Field”
- “White Elephant”
- “Alien Landing Strip”
How I’d solve Seattle’s housing crisis:
- “If I could solve it, I’d be so rich I wouldn’t care either.”
- “Alterations in regulations and philosophy”
- “Can’t do it; it’s too late”
- “Fire all VIPs”
- “More tent cities”
- “Outlaw automobile traffic, and turn parking garages into affordable housing”
- “Doze the condos and build massive low-income housing”
- “Build housing, not ballparks”
- “Close a golf course”
- “Turn Safeco Field into a shantytown”
- “Revamp Kingdome”
- “Keep the Kingdome for bums (free popcorn and beer all day)”
- “Put apartments in the Kingdome; call it Homeless Dome”
- “House them in the stadium”
- “Kingdome condominiums for the homeless”
- “Move out (I am)”
What should happen to Microsoft:
- “Become owned by the people of Seattle”
- “Go bankrupt and die”
- “Merge with Boeing”
- “Catch a flu”
- “Prosper and grow”
- “Let the market (and the Supreme Court) decide”
- “Microsoft should become competent at writing software”
- “I thought `M’ made things happen”
- “Who gives a fuck? They’ll get what they deserve”
- “Who cares? Macintosh rules!”
My deepest sexual secret:
- “If I told you, it wouldn’t be a secret now, would it?”
- “My hand”
- “Loaves of bread soaked in a bucket of water”
- “I used to wet my bed”
- “Stung by bee on head of penis during sex on rooftop”
- “I deeply enjoy the company of women who perform acts of bestiality. You may blackmail me now.”
- “I jacked off upside down, came in my mouth, and spit it out”
- “Doing it on top of a car, out back of the bar”
- “Dark, musty, used book stores turn me ON”
- “Viagra costs too much!”
- “I don’t get nearly enough of it”
- “I would like to lose my virginity again, please”
- “Just to get head, other than from beer”
All the world’s problems would be solved if only:
- “I was the Queen”
- “I was King of the Forest (not duke, etc.)”
- “People would wake up”
- “I would listen”
- “Nekkid women would kill Bill Gates on live PPV TV”
- “God came and killed Jesse Helms”
- “Scottish matrons took over–porridge for all!”
- “Everyone had the same problems at the same time”
- “There were more climbers, instead of campers”
- “We had less greedy people”
- “Open-minded people were more superior”
- “It weren’t for stupid people”
- “Every human lacked the ability to reproduce”
- “There were no people”
- “People traveled to a third-world country once”
Seattle needs more _____ and less ______:
- Old buildings/condos
- Sun/stadiums
- Coffee/bands
- Games/toys
- Drugs/cops
- Breakfast joints/people who write shit they know nothing about
- Good drivers/bad drivers
- Tacomans/Olympians
- Locals/tourists
- Cool people/dumb people
- Doers/wannabes
- Real people/poseurs
- People/jerks
- Inspiration/attitude
- Insight/pomp
- Style/attitude
- “Women in love with me”/incompetent poets
