…the title of its election-night live special: Prelude to a Recount.

…those, including me, who wanted a Massachusetts/Texas World Series matchup were mistaken. Bush, Armstrong reminds us, used to co-own the Rangers, not the Houston Astros. Bush’s former Rangers partners now own the Cardinals.

Why, W. even threw out the first pitch at the Cards’ opening day this year in (no relation) Busch Stadium. Armstrong notes: “Cardinal officials piped in fake applause when Bush strode out to the mound.”

…reminds you: “The new electronic voting machines are complicated. But don’t worry: Octogenarians will be on hand to troubleshoot any technological problems that might arise.”

…Congressional candidate Dave Reichert’s hair.

…why Bush has become progressively less lucid in public over the years.

…on a list of “Signs You Might Be Too Canadian”: “You dismiss all beers under 6% as ‘for children and the elderly.'”

…“Eight Talking Points for Voter Persuasion.” #2: “The President should speak foreign languages. He should also speak English.” #8: “There is not a terrorist hiding in your garage.”

…to see the most talked-about TV moment of the week, Jon Stewart’s thorough demolishing of the Crossfire twins.

The week of Bush’s inauguration in ’01, The Onion (which, as some of you know, has a partial joint ancestry with The Stranger) ran a fake news item declaring “Our long national nightmare of peace and prospierity is finally over.” One Dan Chak has gone and peppered the original piece with web links showing how nearly every disaster mentioned in the spoof story has come true.

…offers tips for the aspiring journalist on how to televise yourself in a hurricane.

Nothing rhymes with orange.

…The Death Clock, I’m going to live to be 98. And I’ll probably still be complaining about the older generation.

“Ask about our Mary Kay Letourneau drink special, made with 12-year-old Scotch.”

…was first sold, P-I cartoonist David Horsey depicted a rude businessman walking into a store and asking if there was a “WonderJock.” Well, now there is. (Viewer discretion advised.)

…”found” concrete poetry based on junk e-mail headlines? A similar premise drives “Spamusement!: Poorly-drawn cartoons inspired by actual spam subject lines!”